I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
