My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize