Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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