Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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