We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize