You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
