He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
