but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
