You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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