he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
