Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
