do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
