So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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