Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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