a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
