josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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