It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
