i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need water and some morals
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize