If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
