am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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