I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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