yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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