Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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