Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
