It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
