your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
