we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
