it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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