you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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