'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
