i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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