The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Someone shattered a urinal.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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