If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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