i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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