we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
