also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
