if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Don't EVER smell your tampon
they call him Oral-B. enough said
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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