i used baking grease as lip gloss
No subtext here. People are naked.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
