is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and she was petting her beer can
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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