I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize