Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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