Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize