the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize