All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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