the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I look better un-naked...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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