Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
