I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
