its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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