Apparently you make a good broom.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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