You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
