You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.