direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?