that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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