You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
