she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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