You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize