Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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