In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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