In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
