No more Irish car bombs ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
