I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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