Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.