i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize