An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
