I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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