If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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