you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
