she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
